Secret Santa season is right around the corner. Offices around the country will soon draw slips of paper with a collective, yuletide hope it’ll read the name of the hot new secretary, Denise. Chances are it won’t, and she’ll get her gift from Randy the egg salad sandwich guy. Better luck next year, Denise.
Giving a gift is like petting a stray dog—you could make a new best friend, or end up in the hospital with face bites.
Here’s how to not get face bites:
Classify. Think about the recipient’s personality and lifestyle. Then, begin to classify their features. Are they old, young, male, or female? Are they athletic, technologically savvy, or artistic?
Listen. In the weeks or months before buying a gift, listen for hints. Pay attention to phrases like, “I’m so tired of this old…” or “Wouldn’t it be great if I had a…” or “I’d freeze-dry a wheelbarrow of babies for a…” Sometimes the recipient may not even realize they needed the gift you gave, which means they’ll appreciate it even more.
Research. Asking the person what they want is a last resort. Talk to friends or relatives of the person to discover their likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests, etc.
Compare. See what options you have as far as gift types, styles and brands. If you’re buying a gift for an avid gardener, choose something durable that will last for years instead of a cheaper product. Also seek current trends and the latest fashions.
Be decisive. Narrow down your ideas and pull the trigger. Don’t worry if they’ll absolutely love it. If you did your homework, I guarantee your face will end up bite-free.
Presentation. Opening gifts is half the fun, so spend time choosing the best way to present it. Don’t throw together a half-assed newspaper and duct tape wrap job like drunk Uncle Lenny. Nobody likes drunk Uncle Lenny.
Now you’re prepared to spread some holiday cheer over a mug (or five) of eggnog. Just pray you don’t pick Randy. He’s been known to bite.